“So, what brings you in today?” the doctor asked.
“Well, there are some people in my life who say I’m not myself. That I sound negative and angry, so I thought I’d come in and get checked.” I replied, feeling silly but holding back tears, while bouncing my nearly 8 month old baby on my lap.
“Are you getting enough sleep?” she asked.
I laughed. “No, my baby is not a good sleeper. She wakes every hour or so. And I’m a light sleeper to begin with.”
She went through a few more questions: was I anxious about going back to work, was I bonding alright with baby, was I feeling overly emotional?
Yes, yes and yes.
“Well it sounds like a classic case of postpartum depression,” she said. She wrote me up a prescription for antidepressants, went through all the potential side effects and gave me a very clinical “if you feel suicidal, call someone”.
She told me to start taking the medication immediately and come back to see her in two weeks.
I left feeling very overwhelmed. I didn’t want to take pills. Was I seriously suffering from depression? Should I call a therapist? I had so many questions, and my doctor (a new one I’d only seen a couple of times before) didn’t seem to want to explore any other options.
